Today I turned 27. Twenty seven. Far enough past 25 that 25 just sounds so young. But far enough away from 30 that 30 almost sounds old...almost. It just feels like such an insignificant number.
Throughout the day, I've thought over and over how birthdays are funny things. The older you get the less they mean. Yeah, it's kind of fun to celebrate those milestones....18, 25, 30, 40, 50...but the years in between I would almost rather not celebrate. I really don't like being the center of attention and I just feel like there's nothing significant to celebrate. At the same time, I know that I would care if nobody acknowledged my birthday. And I wonder why that is. Is there just that cultural/social expectation? Does the number of people who tell me happy birthday say something about my self worth? Why do I care so much??? See, birthdays are funny like that....or maybe it's just me...
Today was an okay day. A day just like every other day (except for the fact that the kids slept until 9 AM which is no small miracle in this household). We got up, went through the morning routine, went to park day with friends...sweet, thoughtful friends who had brought a birthday cake to celebrate, went to the grocery store, ate lunch. Nothing big or extraordinary(well, except for the birthday cake part). Then in the afternoon, after kids didn't take naps, the day just kind of went downhill. I spent the rest of the day breaking up fights, and dealing with tantrums. I just felt tired and emotionally drained and all of a sudden I was having one of those days where I just needed to cry. I didn't need a reason, I just needed to cry.
Jon came home early and we got to eat dinner together as a family, which is a rare occurence with his work schedule lately. It was nice. Then Jon gave me my present...a lap desk, so I can more comfortably use the laptop in bed. It was a very thoughtful gift and I love it. After we got kids in bed, Jon headed back to work...we can't wait for this movie to be done...soon...
And that has left me here alone, which I am kind of grateful for. I love the quiet of the early morning and late evening. It's just really relaxing. And it gives me time to think...about birthdays, and how they're funny things...
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About us
Jon and I met at BYU. After a year of hanging out and dating, we were married in August 2005 and have added 4 kids to the mix. Jon works as a Character Effects Artist and I stay home. We love our life here!
Emma's Funnies
7/21/10
Me: Emma, what do you want to be when you grow up?
Emma: A mommy.
Me: Oh, that's great! I love being a mommy.
Emma: Yeah, and so does Daddy.
6/2/10
Mom, did you know cars have names too? Our car is named Fabio (drawing out the a... faaabio.)
3/20/10
Sorry Mom, Buddy was an accident. (I think she was trying to tell me that something Matthew had done was an accident, but it came out totally wrong and made me laugh.)
1/15/10
Emma said something and I laughed. She looked at me and said, "Don't laugh at me. I'm practally a grownup."
12/29/09
After I told Emma she couldn't have any candy till after dinner: Ugh Mom. You're ruining Christmas for EVERYONE!
10/27/09
Mama, I'm feelin' niserble (miserable).
Me: You feel miserable?
E: Yeah, cuz I'm making lots of coughs. And I feel niserble. (pause) What do you think about that Buddy? Huh? It's okay, someday you can be niserble too, just like me! Will that make you happy?
10/23/09
(After putting my white skirt on her head) Look Mom! I'm married!
____________
Mama, I love you too much.
7/24/09
Here Buddy, you want some cookie dough. (Without waiting for a response). Oh, no? Okay, I guess I'm just gonna have to eat it all gone.
___________
Emma has become a great backseat driver. As I drive she will periodically yell things like, Turn right, then stay in the left lane. Take the second left. Turn right in 300 yards." She has obviously been listening very well to the GPS.
7/20/09
(While swimming) I don't want my face in the water. It makes my eyes nervous.
7/16/09
Emma: Is Jason at BYU?
Me: Yes.
Emma: Am I going to go to BYU?
Me: Sure.
Emma: Yeah, when I get big and strong I can go to BYU. Is Jason big and strong?
Me: Yeah
Emma: Jason is big and strong and Grandma is big and strong. But Fij is just big and strong like me.
____________
I like taking naps. Because you love me. And Joseph Smith loves me. And Jesus loves me. And I'm going to take a nap and then I'll wake up in 2 weeks! And then we'll do something really fun! Yeah! Doesn't that sound like fun?
4/18/09
(While telling us about when her head went under the water while she was swimming) And my head was very brave!
3/24/09
I had gotten the kids in the car and then ran back in the house to get my wallet. When I got back in the car we had a little conversation that went something like this:
Emma: Oh, did you find your walrus Mommy?
Me: Yep, I got my wallet.
Emma: Oh good job! You're such a good girl!
Me: Thanks...
Emma: Oh, you're welcome!
--------
Whenever Emma's feet fall asleep, she yells "Aahhh, I'm fuzzy again!"
3/22/09
We were sitting in Church while someone was giving a talk, when Emma ran out into the aisle and yelled loudly, "Be quiet!" Needless to say, everyone around us was laughing.
2/15/09
Mommy, what are you doing? Oh, you're feeding Matthew. What a big girl!
2/12/09
(After her feet fell asleep and were in that poky stage)
Emma: Bubbles, bubbles! Crazy crazy crazy! (while kicking her legs and trying to kiss her feet better)
1/29/09
I was asking Emma what color different things were. After a few different things I asked Emma what color she was.
Emma: I'm black.
Sarah: No, I think you're white.
Emma: No...I'm Black!
1/21/09
Emma was looking for me and when she couldn't find me, she cried out, "Oh nooo! I lost mommy!"
1/4/09
Emma talking to me and Jon: Oh, hey kids!
1/5/09
Mommy, you're really cute. I promise.
12/23/08
While changing a really nasty diaper of Emma's:
Me: Man Emma, what have you been eating?
Emma: Poop.
12/23/08
I was feeding Matthew when Emma asked me if I could get her some cereal. I told her I couldn't because I was feeding him. A minute later I heard this:
Mommy, can you get me some cereal? No, I'm eating Matthew.
12/20/08
Jenny was giving Emma a bath in the jacuzzi tub and asked her if she wanted to turn the bubbles on. Emma (who is scared of the bubbles) replied, "No, not on Sunday".
12/17/08
Jon: Are you happy, Emma?
Emma: No, I'm not happy. I'm just cute.
12/9/08
We were looking at a picture of Matt, Nicki, and baby Owen.
Me: Emma, who is that?
Emma: Matt and Nicki...(pause)...and baby Jesus!
12/7/08
Emma was climbing up on Jon's lap. When she saw his belt she yelled, "Oh Dad, there's your seatbelt!"
12/5/08
Emma, while trying to get past Jon: Oh, excuse me honey.
11/15/08
We were driving down a very steep street in San Francisco when we heard Emma yell from the back of the van, "Hold on. It's okay. Daddy's gotcha. Daddy's gotcha."
11/26/08
Every time we ask Emma if she wants to do something she now responds enthusiastically with "That'd be great!"
11/26/08
I walked into the kitchen and saw that Emma had pulled all the tissues out of an almost full box. She looked up at me and asked very sweetly, "Should I put them all back?"
11/23/08
We were eating dinner and I asked Jon if he wanted some more chicken. He said he would take half of the last piece. Emma looked up and said, "Oh Dad, that was good asking".
11/4/08
Emma loves cereal but doesn't know the real name of most of her favorites. Instead she just calls them by whatever is on the box. Rice Krispies are Spongebob cereal because they have Spongebob on the box, Special K with strawberries is the strawberry cereal, etc. Today she walked into the kitchen, looked at her choices and exclaimed, "I want the grandpa cereal!"
Turns out she was looking at the Quaker guy on a box of Life.
11/6/08
Jon lit a candle and put it on the table at dinner and Emma yelled, Oh, fire! Fire in the hole!
Me: Emma, what do you want to be when you grow up?
Emma: A mommy.
Me: Oh, that's great! I love being a mommy.
Emma: Yeah, and so does Daddy.
6/2/10
Mom, did you know cars have names too? Our car is named Fabio (drawing out the a... faaabio.)
3/20/10
Sorry Mom, Buddy was an accident. (I think she was trying to tell me that something Matthew had done was an accident, but it came out totally wrong and made me laugh.)
1/15/10
Emma said something and I laughed. She looked at me and said, "Don't laugh at me. I'm practally a grownup."
12/29/09
After I told Emma she couldn't have any candy till after dinner: Ugh Mom. You're ruining Christmas for EVERYONE!
10/27/09
Mama, I'm feelin' niserble (miserable).
Me: You feel miserable?
E: Yeah, cuz I'm making lots of coughs. And I feel niserble. (pause) What do you think about that Buddy? Huh? It's okay, someday you can be niserble too, just like me! Will that make you happy?
10/23/09
(After putting my white skirt on her head) Look Mom! I'm married!
____________
Mama, I love you too much.
7/24/09
Here Buddy, you want some cookie dough. (Without waiting for a response). Oh, no? Okay, I guess I'm just gonna have to eat it all gone.
___________
Emma has become a great backseat driver. As I drive she will periodically yell things like, Turn right, then stay in the left lane. Take the second left. Turn right in 300 yards." She has obviously been listening very well to the GPS.
7/20/09
(While swimming) I don't want my face in the water. It makes my eyes nervous.
7/16/09
Emma: Is Jason at BYU?
Me: Yes.
Emma: Am I going to go to BYU?
Me: Sure.
Emma: Yeah, when I get big and strong I can go to BYU. Is Jason big and strong?
Me: Yeah
Emma: Jason is big and strong and Grandma is big and strong. But Fij is just big and strong like me.
____________
I like taking naps. Because you love me. And Joseph Smith loves me. And Jesus loves me. And I'm going to take a nap and then I'll wake up in 2 weeks! And then we'll do something really fun! Yeah! Doesn't that sound like fun?
4/18/09
(While telling us about when her head went under the water while she was swimming) And my head was very brave!
3/24/09
I had gotten the kids in the car and then ran back in the house to get my wallet. When I got back in the car we had a little conversation that went something like this:
Emma: Oh, did you find your walrus Mommy?
Me: Yep, I got my wallet.
Emma: Oh good job! You're such a good girl!
Me: Thanks...
Emma: Oh, you're welcome!
--------
Whenever Emma's feet fall asleep, she yells "Aahhh, I'm fuzzy again!"
3/22/09
We were sitting in Church while someone was giving a talk, when Emma ran out into the aisle and yelled loudly, "Be quiet!" Needless to say, everyone around us was laughing.
2/15/09
Mommy, what are you doing? Oh, you're feeding Matthew. What a big girl!
2/12/09
(After her feet fell asleep and were in that poky stage)
Emma: Bubbles, bubbles! Crazy crazy crazy! (while kicking her legs and trying to kiss her feet better)
1/29/09
I was asking Emma what color different things were. After a few different things I asked Emma what color she was.
Emma: I'm black.
Sarah: No, I think you're white.
Emma: No...I'm Black!
1/21/09
Emma was looking for me and when she couldn't find me, she cried out, "Oh nooo! I lost mommy!"
1/4/09
Emma talking to me and Jon: Oh, hey kids!
1/5/09
Mommy, you're really cute. I promise.
12/23/08
While changing a really nasty diaper of Emma's:
Me: Man Emma, what have you been eating?
Emma: Poop.
12/23/08
I was feeding Matthew when Emma asked me if I could get her some cereal. I told her I couldn't because I was feeding him. A minute later I heard this:
Mommy, can you get me some cereal? No, I'm eating Matthew.
12/20/08
Jenny was giving Emma a bath in the jacuzzi tub and asked her if she wanted to turn the bubbles on. Emma (who is scared of the bubbles) replied, "No, not on Sunday".
12/17/08
Jon: Are you happy, Emma?
Emma: No, I'm not happy. I'm just cute.
12/9/08
We were looking at a picture of Matt, Nicki, and baby Owen.
Me: Emma, who is that?
Emma: Matt and Nicki...(pause)...and baby Jesus!
12/7/08
Emma was climbing up on Jon's lap. When she saw his belt she yelled, "Oh Dad, there's your seatbelt!"
12/5/08
Emma, while trying to get past Jon: Oh, excuse me honey.
11/15/08
We were driving down a very steep street in San Francisco when we heard Emma yell from the back of the van, "Hold on. It's okay. Daddy's gotcha. Daddy's gotcha."
11/26/08
Every time we ask Emma if she wants to do something she now responds enthusiastically with "That'd be great!"
11/26/08
I walked into the kitchen and saw that Emma had pulled all the tissues out of an almost full box. She looked up at me and asked very sweetly, "Should I put them all back?"
11/23/08
We were eating dinner and I asked Jon if he wanted some more chicken. He said he would take half of the last piece. Emma looked up and said, "Oh Dad, that was good asking".
11/4/08
Emma loves cereal but doesn't know the real name of most of her favorites. Instead she just calls them by whatever is on the box. Rice Krispies are Spongebob cereal because they have Spongebob on the box, Special K with strawberries is the strawberry cereal, etc. Today she walked into the kitchen, looked at her choices and exclaimed, "I want the grandpa cereal!"
Turns out she was looking at the Quaker guy on a box of Life.
11/6/08
Jon lit a candle and put it on the table at dinner and Emma yelled, Oh, fire! Fire in the hole!
Links
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9 comments:
Happy Birthday! I know what you mean with those weird in between years!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I'm turning 27 next month. It is sort of a strange age. It's definitely late 20's, but far enough from 30 that I'm still ok with it. 30 is going to be weird.
ABSOLUTELY get what you mean...
and I hope you know, this was one of my favorite posts you have ever written...I love hearing your thoughts. Happy birthday again--yesterday. We should celebrate again when we get together next month. ;)
I cry on my birthday all the time! haha Something about it (maybe the battle between having expectations and figuring you're too old to have expectations) always brings my emotions to the surface!
But anyway, you are a wonderful person and such a great example to me of being a happy, involved wife and mother. I'm so glad you moved into our ward!
Happy Birthday Sarah. I just passed my 50 something...Even though I don't want to be the center of attention I don't want to be overlooked either. Yep, birthdays are funny like that.
So true about age- sheesh. I'm tried of celebrating my gray hairs. ;)
Actually a wise co-worker (who was a man... go figure) told me that after a female turned 29, they could just ad a '+' after it.
This year... I'm turning 29... so after this one... I'm just 29+. Seems correct to me.
**Ohh, I forgot to wish you a happy birthday!
So... Happy Birthday!
Haven't read posts for awhile - and really enjoyed reading yours this morning! Right now I feel younger than my actual age, but I'm sure that will change at some point!
How fun to reread this post, because I feel like I know you so much better now! Hard to believe it's been two years since then!
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