Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Birthdays

Today I turned 27. Twenty seven. Far enough past 25 that 25 just sounds so young. But far enough away from 30 that 30 almost sounds old...almost. It just feels like such an insignificant number.

Throughout the day, I've thought over and over how birthdays are funny things. The older you get the less they mean. Yeah, it's kind of fun to celebrate those milestones....18, 25, 30, 40, 50...but the years in between I would almost rather not celebrate. I really don't like being the center of attention and I just feel like there's nothing significant to celebrate. At the same time, I know that I would care if nobody acknowledged my birthday. And I wonder why that is. Is there just that cultural/social expectation? Does the number of people who tell me happy birthday say something about my self worth? Why do I care so much??? See, birthdays are funny like that....or maybe it's just me...

Today was an okay day. A day just like every other day (except for the fact that the kids slept until 9 AM which is no small miracle in this household). We got up, went through the morning routine, went to park day with friends...sweet, thoughtful friends who had brought a birthday cake to celebrate, went to the grocery store, ate lunch. Nothing big or extraordinary(well, except for the birthday cake part). Then in the afternoon, after kids didn't take naps, the day just kind of went downhill. I spent the rest of the day breaking up fights, and dealing with tantrums. I just felt tired and emotionally drained and all of a sudden I was having one of those days where I just needed to cry. I didn't need a reason, I just needed to cry.

Jon came home early and we got to eat dinner together as a family, which is a rare occurence with his work schedule lately. It was nice. Then Jon gave me my present...a lap desk, so I can more comfortably use the laptop in bed. It was a very thoughtful gift and I love it. After we got kids in bed, Jon headed back to work...we can't wait for this movie to be done...soon...

And that has left me here alone, which I am kind of grateful for. I love the quiet of the early morning and late evening. It's just really relaxing. And it gives me time to think...about birthdays, and how they're funny things...

9 comments:

Nicia said...

Happy Birthday! I know what you mean with those weird in between years!

Unknown said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I'm turning 27 next month. It is sort of a strange age. It's definitely late 20's, but far enough from 30 that I'm still ok with it. 30 is going to be weird.

Rachel Holloway said...

ABSOLUTELY get what you mean...

and I hope you know, this was one of my favorite posts you have ever written...I love hearing your thoughts. Happy birthday again--yesterday. We should celebrate again when we get together next month. ;)

Erica Layne | Let Why Lead said...

I cry on my birthday all the time! haha Something about it (maybe the battle between having expectations and figuring you're too old to have expectations) always brings my emotions to the surface!

But anyway, you are a wonderful person and such a great example to me of being a happy, involved wife and mother. I'm so glad you moved into our ward!

Karen said...

Happy Birthday Sarah. I just passed my 50 something...Even though I don't want to be the center of attention I don't want to be overlooked either. Yep, birthdays are funny like that.

Breezi@ Not Your Average Fairytale said...

So true about age- sheesh. I'm tried of celebrating my gray hairs. ;)

Actually a wise co-worker (who was a man... go figure) told me that after a female turned 29, they could just ad a '+' after it.

This year... I'm turning 29... so after this one... I'm just 29+. Seems correct to me.

Breezi@ Not Your Average Fairytale said...

**Ohh, I forgot to wish you a happy birthday!
So... Happy Birthday!

Kathy Whittle said...

Haven't read posts for awhile - and really enjoyed reading yours this morning! Right now I feel younger than my actual age, but I'm sure that will change at some point!

Erica Layne | Let Why Lead said...

How fun to reread this post, because I feel like I know you so much better now! Hard to believe it's been two years since then!